My Application to Replace Keith Olbermann

November 5, 2010

To whom it may concern:

Please accept this correspondence as my official application to succeed former anchor Keith Olbermann in the 8 o’clock slot on MSNBC. I say former anchor because if his past behavior at ESPN is any indication, Mr. Olbermann does not take discipline very well and is probably packing his things as I type this out.

I will admit that I have been a fan of Mr. Olbermann since his days at ESPN. He is a very smart individual, but his ego and big head (both physically and metaphorically) become insufferable after a while. His voice impersonations on Countdown are what eventually led me to quit watching the show on a regular basis, which probably contributed to MSNBC losing key demographics during the 8 pm slot. Sorry about that.

But when I heard that Olbermann had donated money to Democratic candidates for the recent midterm elections I, like NBC news, thought that it was the last straw. It’s not that he donated to politicians, but in a time when the American economy is in such shambles and people are suffering to make ends meet, to see an individual like Olbermann throw his money away into a pointless endeavor like midterm Democrats is appalling. He might as well have flushed his money down the toilet. How can someone so irresponsible with their money be in such an influential position?

I can promise you this: if I am selected to replace Keith Olbermann I will not donate to politicians. I never have and I never will. And if I do, I’ll make sure to at least donate to a winning candidate.

To be honest, this move is a no-brainer for MSNBC. I’ll take half of what Olbermann is making and I’ll come with almost none of the prima donna attitude. Hell, I’ll even let you move Rachel Maddow to 8 and I’ll take the 9 slot. But if you keep me at 8 o’clock I can guarantee that I will be less awkward than Parker Spitzer and will gain more viewers (though between you and me my dog could do that, too).

In summation, I would love to represent MSNBC during their primetime programming. I’ll do all of the cross-program promotion that you want and will help the network out in any way. Most importantly, I will actually lean forward in your advertisements for your new slogan, “Lean Forward.”

Sincerely,

Matt Kane

Photo - Olbermann not getting the new slogan (HuffPo)

Joe the Unlicensed Contractor, Sarah Palin, and McCain's Hypocrisy: A Trifecta of Scare Tactics

While the main headline grabber yesterday was Obama's 30 minute informercial (which was done surprisingly well and not as schticky as I thought it would be), the McCain campaign yesterday still managed to make waves in the news world. The newly minted McCain campaign's Sabbatai Zevi (read: Joe the Unlicensed Contractor) dropped a bombshell yesterday at a McCain campaign supported bus tour in which he agreed with a member of the audience asking questions who stated that a vote for Barack Obama would mean the death of Israel. The scare tactics continue.

Later when Joe the Unlicensed Contractor was on Fox News with Shepard Smith (of Jenny from the Block Blowjob fame) he was pressed to explain why he felt that a vote for Barack Obama was a vote for the death of Israel. He could not explain why he felt that way beyond saying that Obama has stated that he would sit down with the President of Iran without preconditions (something "Joe" mistakenly labeled as an action and not just words when, in reality, saying you will do something manifests itself in the form of words):



Joe said an interesting thing in the phone conversation. When asked what Obama's stance on Israel was, he avoided the question and stated, "Let people go out and find it...Find out why they would think that I would say that...You don't want my opinion on foreign policy; I know just enough probably to be dangerous." I think I know why Sam would say something like that. It's probably because he has no idea what he's talking about and cannot state Obama's stances on Israel. And Joe/Sam is right, we don't want his opinions on foreign policy.

All of this continues with the scare tactics of the McCain campaign (who, after Joe/Sam's recent fear mongering put out a statement essentially backing Joe's comments). But rule number one when trying to smear a distinguished professor in order to get a barb or two in about your political opponent: know how to pronounce the guy's name (skip to 2:25 if you don't want to watch the whole thing).



If Sarah Palin knows so little about Rashid Khalidi that she cannot even pronounce his name correctly, why are we supposed to listen to her assertions that Khalidi was a former PLO spokesman? Additionally, as the Olbermann tape above mentioned, in 1998 the International Republican Institute (IRI) gave $448,873 in a grant to the Center for Palestine Research and Studies (CPRS) (page 14 of the PDF, grant # 5180). The interesting thing about 1998 is that John McCain was the chairman of the board of the IRI and Rashid Khalidi was one of the founders of CPRS. In a statement yesterday the IRI stated that, "We understand that Rashid Khalidi was one of the many founders of CPRS, and we understand that he was for some (unclear) amount of time a board member. IRI did not in the 1990s conduct background checks of grantees’ founders or board members. IRI did on a number of occasions vet CPRS as an organization, including, as was our custom, with the Israeli government, and we were given no cause for concern." No concern, of course, until John McCain can try to use it as a smear against Obama.

So while Joe/Sam the Unlicensed Contractor seems to be Sarah Palin's male counterpart (not vetted properly, entirely unready for national attention, saying stupid things in front of the media, and embraced by the McCain campaign), a bigger McCain issue is his own hypocrisy. I understand that McCain could not have possibly remembered giving money (albeit half a million dollars) to Khalidi's organization, but don't the speechwriters at the McCain campaign factcheck or make sure there are no conflicts of interest or overt hypocrisy? If this is the competency level of the campaign with less than a week to go until Election Day, it makes you wonder how ready any member of that camp, nevermind the higher-ups, would be to run one of the most powerful countries in the world. Peace.

Photo - Joe the Unlicensed Contractor (who apparently may be in line for a country music deal) (popwatch.ew.com)

Palin's Pastor Under the Microscope - Seriously?

As if we did not get enough of the presidential candidates' pastors - what with Obama's Wright and McCain's Hagee - now Sarah Palin's pastor is being given the once-over. It appears that an influential religious figure in her life - someone who she says helped her win the governorship - was Thomas Muthee. Muthee is an interesting individual, to say the least, as his career doing God's work started with an African witch hunt. Muthee went to Kenya, after he said he was called by God, and outed a witch, who was forced to leave town after the town's residents and police force turned on her. As recent as June, Palin was praising this man as an amazing person who helped her out a lot. Clearly there is something off about this guy.

I had been hearing rumors about Palin's church and some of its extreme views (such as their recent "pray away the gay" event), but did not think that they were important enough to post about. After watching tonight's Countdown with Olbermann and its piece on Muthee and his relationship to Palin, I figured I had to write something about it. My first reaction to Olbermann's piece was, "We went through enough of this with Obama and McCain, why are we continuing this." Then I thought, "Well, to be fair, Obama had to go through this pretty bad, and McCain went through it to an extent, maybe it's only fair that Palin go through it."

Then it hit me: there is so much wrong about Palin as a VP choice and a politician, that we do not have to dig so deep into her life that we try to attribute things that other people said or did to her. While the media tried to do this with Obama - that is, finding little controversial about the man on the surface or digging deeper, they grasped at straws with Wright - there really is no need to do it with Palin (and little reason to do it with McCain either, but his past had already been exposed in 2000). Palin creates enough negative press by herself (see here, here, and here) without needing to get desperate with it.

In fact, by digging up crap like this, it opens up the attack of hypocrisy to those who cried foul over the Obama-Wright scandal. It also distracts voters from the real issues - like Palin lying about the "Bridge to Nowhere" or McCain flip-flopping on AIG or calling the economy "fundamentally strong" as Wall Street was on the brink of collapse. So did Palin say very laudable things about Muthee, a nutbag for lack of a better word? Yes, but she was also in front of the church crowd and could have been pandering to them (she is a politician, you know). So trying to tie Muthee's crazy actions with Palin's beliefs is a stretch and it makes those trying to make that connection look desparate. Obama's campaign thus far has not touched this, and hopefully they will not (they already erred in the desperation department by jumping on Rove's comments). If the media jumps on it they will open themselves up to criticism of "liberal bias." Again, there are so many lies and mistruths to point out in the McCain-Palin ticket that needs to be reiterated to the public and it is this kind of stuff that should be highlighted, not crazy pastors with tenuous ties to Palin. Peace.

Photos - Thomas Muthee (wofchurchke.com), Sarah Palin (www.cbsnews.com)